Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
as a side note pls kill me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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