bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
