i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
