i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
