I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
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Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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