Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
did you just send me my own nude
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
