I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
