i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
two words: eviction party
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
