You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
3 2 1 whiskey
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
