i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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