Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
