Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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