you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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