You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
