Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
