After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
