went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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