We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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