I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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