After last night, I could never be a politician.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I need a burrito and a hug.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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