its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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