last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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