You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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