He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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