You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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