I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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