I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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