I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
and eventually we just all took our pants off
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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