well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize