if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize