A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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