just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
