This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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