Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
