This girl is more easily done than said...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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