We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Someone came in the potted fern
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We are all done wearing pants today
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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