singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
