I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
