I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize