god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
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Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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