i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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