5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
