very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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