She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
that may or may not have been my penis.
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