She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
