Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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