I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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