and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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