Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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