my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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