Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize