Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
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Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
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I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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