Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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