This is not my ceiling
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
