So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have