why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
