why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
