I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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