Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
