I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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