Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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