I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
