We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
