wrigley field is MILF paradise
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
